Lenny Bruce
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"Leonard Alfred Schneider", better known by his stage name "Lenny Bruce", was an American stand-up comedian, social critic and satire/satirist.

He was renowned for his open, free-style and critical form of comedy which integrated satire, politics, religion, sex, and vulgarity. His 1964 conviction in an obscenity trial was followed by a Posthumous recognition/posthumous pardon, the first in New York State history, by then-Governor George Pataki in 2003. He paved the way for future outspoken Counterculture of the 1960s/counterculture-era comedians, and his trial for obscenity is seen as a landmark for freedom of speech in the United States.

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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

A lot of people say to me, ''Why did you kill Christ?'' ''I dunno... it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.'' ''We killed him because he didn't want to become a doctor, that's why we killed him.''.

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do...."

A lot of people say to me, `Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Communism is like one big phone company.

The whole motivation for any performer is "Look at me, Ma.

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.