'Alf Todd,' said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, 'has about as much chance as a one- armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle.' -P. G. Wodehouse

 

'Alf Todd,' said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, 'has about as much chance as a one- armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle.'


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This quote is just one of 17 total P. G. Wodehouse quotes in our collection. P. G. Wodehouse is known for saying ''Alf Todd,' said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, 'has about as much chance as a one- armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle.'' as well as some of the following quotes.

To be a humorist, one must see the world out of focus.

P. G. Wodehouse
262

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

P. G. Wodehouse
210
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies. -P. G. Wodehouse
202

Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

P. G. Wodehouse
197

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

P. G. Wodehouse
197
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour. -P. G. Wodehouse
173

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

P. G. Wodehouse
155