"Sidney Joseph Perelman", known as "S. J. Perelman", was an American humorist, author, and screenwriter. He is best known for his humorous short pieces written over many years for The New Yorker. He also wrote for several other magazines, including Judge (magazine)/Judge, as well as books, scripts, and screenplays. Perelman received an Academy Award for Writing Adapted Screenplay/Academy Award for screenwriting in 1956.

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Crazy like a fox.

The main obligation is to amuse yourself.

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin .. it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

Their the waiters' eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - p%tZ, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes.

A dreary industrial town controlled by hoodlums of enormous wealth, the ethical sense of a pack of jackals and taste so degraded that it befouled everything it touched.

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. . . . You are what you are.

Under a forehead roughly comparable to that of Javanese and Piltdown man are visible a pair of tiny pig eyes, lit up alternately by greed and concupiscence.