O. Henry
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"William Sydney Porter", known by his pen name "O. Henry", was an American writer. O. Henry's short stories are known for their wit, wordplay, warm characterization, and clever twist endings.

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If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of life.

Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.

The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.

He had the artistic metempsychosis which is half drunk when sober and looks down on airships when stimulated.

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating.

Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark.

Take it from me - he's got the goods.

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.

Write what you like; there is no other rule.

It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.