Leo Rosten
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"Leo Calvin Rosten" was born in ?ód?, Russian Empire (now Poland) and died in New York City. He was a teacher and academic, but is best known as a humorist in the fields of scriptwriting, storywriting, journalism and Yiddish lexicography.

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I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.

I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not old yet!

Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined.

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

Acting is a form of deception, and actors can mesmerize themselves almost as easily as an audience.

Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that advises us to look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost; that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind.

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

If at first you don't succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong.

For some not to be martyrs is martyrdom indeed.

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them.

Most men do not mature, they simply grow taller.

Every writer is a narcissist. This does not mean that he is vain; it only means that he is hopelessly self-absorbed.

I cannot believe that the purpose of life is (merely) to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate. I think it is above all to matter, to count, to stand for something. To have it make some difference that you lived at all.

If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.