Eric Cartman
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"Eric Theodore Cartman" is a main character in the Cartoon series/animated Television program#North American usage/television series South Park, created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and voiced by Trey Parker. Cartman, generally referred to by his surname, is one of four central characters in South Park, in addition to Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick. Cartman first appeared, originally named Kenny, in prototypical form in a 1992 animated short The Spirit of Christmas#Jesus vs. Frosty/Jesus vs. Frosty, and a 1995 animated short The Spirit of Christmas (short film)#Jesus vs. Santa/Jesus vs. Santa, and first appeared on television in the Television pilot/pilot episode of South Park, "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", on August 13, 1997.

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I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!

Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!

Ok That's it, Talking Poo is where I draw the line.

Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.

Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.

Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.