I don't think so. We just don't have the family supports we used to have. Used to be you grew up in a mill town, turned 18, married the girl next door and raised some kids. Now, with all the options and possibilities - longer lives, greater expectations - we're looking for marriage to be a companionship. We're looking for soul mates.

What comes up most often? I wish we could have dinner together; I wish we could talk more about what's going on in his mind; I wish she'd appreciate more how hard I work for the family; I wish we could cuddle more, be more intimate, feel connected.

So my advice for Valentine's Day? Look her in the eye. Eat dinner together. Hold his hand. Go shopping together. Most of life is chores. It's how you lived life and shared the chores of living that's important.