I'm a great fan of UK Gold and I was watching an episode recently where Arthur decides to move beyond his London base and export cars on to the continent, with predictably chaotic consequences.

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We like to do something different down here but being St Valentine's Day and being in Gretna we had to do something special. I'll hand out roses to the first 200 women through the turnstiles, but I'll have to be careful because my wife will probably expect the same thing when I get home.

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