Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. -Tommy Cooper

 

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.


Comments

There are not yet any comments on this quote. Why not register / login and be the first?



This quote is just one of 10 total Tommy Cooper quotes in our collection. Tommy Cooper is known for saying 'Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.' as well as some of the following quotes.

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper
284

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

Tommy Cooper
282
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. -Tommy Cooper
241

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Tommy Cooper
222

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Tommy Cooper
152
So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, 'What appears to be the problem?' I said, 'I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away.' He said, 'How can I help?' I said: 'break my arms.' -Tommy Cooper
133

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Tommy Cooper
133