You're lucky I took me a vow of non-violence, or you'd be suffering some pain right now.
"Mike Fink" (c. 1770/1780 – c. 1823), called "king of the keelboaters", was a semi-legendary brawler and river Mariner/boatman who exemplified the tough and hard-drinking men who ran keelboats up and down the Ohio River/Ohio and Mississippi Rivers.
More Mike Fink on Wikipedia.Our goal is to get there and definitely take that next step.
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