Don't try to achieve the impossible. Make sure that all plans are do-able. We'd all like Christmas to be perfect, but it's much better to aim for the achievable by being realistic, rather than being ridiculous and ending up with a disaster.

Even in nuclear families, Christmas varies every year. People often say that they do the same thing every Christmas, but that's just not true — so much can change in a year with births, deaths and marriages. Remember that every Christmas can succeed in its own way.

People look at marriage through a romantic haze, but it's actually a business contract. Couples need to look beyond the big day and the meringue dress and the honeymoon in an exotic location. I think arranged marriages have a lot going for them because expectations aren't so high. There isn't the assumption that things will be automatically wonderful.