Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
"Frances Ann "Fran" Lebowitz" is an American author and public speaker. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker.
If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous journalists! More Fran Lebowitz on Wikipedia.If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
My favorite animal is steak.
If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Nothing succeeds like address.
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
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