Currently viewing quotes 1 - 11 of 11 by David Sedaris

This collection of David Sedaris quotes is arranged by popularity as voted by our users for your enjoyment. If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out others from famous writers!

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.

David Sedaris

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Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied.

David Sedaris

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Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do that on people.

David Sedaris

Shit is the tofu of cursing.

David Sedaris

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Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on it's own.

David Sedaris

My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.

David Sedaris

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I'm just a big liar.

David Sedaris