At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gasoline, while unorthodox, was a 'slam-dunk solution' to the Army's nagging shortfalls in enlistment.
"Andy Borowitz" is an American writer, comedian, satirist, and actor. Borowitz is a New York Times-bestselling author who won the first National Press Club (USA)/National Press Club award for humor. He is known for creating the satirical column The Borowitz Report, which has an audience in the millions and was acquired by The New Yorker. In a profile on CBS News Sunday Morning, he was called "one of the funniest people in America".
More Andy Borowitz on Wikipedia.I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.
Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or gum.
I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed.
I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did nothing. And then I discovered the Internet. I didn't think of it as a moneymaker -- I wrote stuff I thought my friends would find funny.
Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison.
Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline.
I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd love it if we lived in a world where there was nothing to satire, but given this world, people need satire and comedy right now. ... [Humor] enables us to look at the horrible things going on and survive [them].
Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious.
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