I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.' -Steven Wright

 

I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'


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This quote is just one of 34 total Steven Wright quotes in our collection. Steven Wright is known for saying 'I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'' as well as some of the following quotes.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

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There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

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Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture.

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

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