Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

Robert Frost

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.

Laurence Sterne

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

Dolly Parton

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

Max Eastman

I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"

Rod Schmidt

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

Larry Gelbart

A joke without a point, inane and bald, itself a joke on joking may be called.

Menander Of Athens

People joked that Forster became more renowned with every book he did not write.

Paul Gray

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.

George Mikes

Don't get me wrong, it's not something that's upsetting me. The jokes keep coming.

Michael Mayer

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

They started cracking jokes, and I said: 'Ain't nothing funny when I have to work the next day.'

Bruce White

I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

Ray Romano

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

George Eliot

There were jokes because of all those people in the pits with their onions and canisters of beer who could chuck them at you.

Lynne Burroughs

She is strong in the floor exercise and the vault. She is always laughing and cracking jokes.

Jennifer Barrett

Swedes may have jokes about Finns, but it goes both ways.

Antti Laaksonen

Most of that comes from winning. Because when you're losing, you can't make jokes, kid around and give high fives. The winning allows you to do a lot of things. Everybody's loose and playing loose.

Julio Lugo

The team jokes that we're a dynasty because they say if the New England Patriots won three out of four and they're a dynasty, then so are we.

Mark Mears

A lot quieter. He's always cracking jokes.

Caitlin Metzler

I've enjoyed being around her. She's fun to be around. We have a good time around her. She jokes around with the coaches and everyone on the team. We just have a good time.

Larry Finnicum

The jokes are a little more left-of-center.

Paul Rudd

Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

Kurt Vonnegut

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Henry Cate VII

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

Tina Fey

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

David M. Ogilvy

Now my husband jokes that if his dentist isn't within walking distance, he isn't going to the dentist.

Susan Hicks

She jokes around with you and listens to your ideas.

Matt Mckenna

He's a clown whenever he isn't pitching. He's always cracking jokes.

Greg Babinecz

He cannot bear old men's jokes. That is not new. But now he begins to think of them himself.

Max Frisch

Christopher jokes that if we ever have twins, we'd have to name them Dennis and Emily. But I have a different attitude. I don't ever want to hear those names again.

Barry Murphy

You never know where the jokes are going. That's what makes it so exciting. It's truly unpredictable.

Mike Brownstein

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.

Parker Posey

Absolutely. You're not laughing at them. You're really laughing with them. There are a lot of jokes in this movie, and they're in on them all.

Peter Farrelly

I'd always be the kid up singing and dancing and telling jokes and fooling around, and high energy. I must have been a nightmare for my parents.

Dominic Monaghan

There are some women who are embarrassed and don't want to talk about it. It is the butt of a lot of jokes, most based on myths.

Pamela Boggs

Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master,At which the audience never fail to laugh?

Aristophanes

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.

Carey Williams

He's so calm back there. He jokes back there and just relaxes everybody.

Darryl Sydor

Jokes in sitcoms only work when they're not conspicuous and they reveal character.

Dylan Moran

All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.

Yahoo Serious

We could have whole conversations with nothing but movie lines. And she had the best jokes.

Theresa Dewild

On Friday, when I came in, we were doing jokes about being able to get out. Then it just started getting worse and worse and worse.

Will Durst

I am (very) interactive. I was able to have a couple of jokes.

James Thorpe

(S)ex scenes and bathroom jokes are my bread and butter.

Jonathan Ames

What's really great is when people get the jokes, when people laugh.

Patricia Heaton

They're mostly there to tell jokes. In our group we get involved in current events and have programs.

Jack Templeton

You don't want to make him mad. He's not one for jokes or antics.

Matt Roth

A number of the jokes were taken out of context or they were misunderstood.

George Innes

Despite a month's incarceration he seemed to be in high spirits and was cracking jokes.

Ruslan Aushev

This is truly a localized show down to the jokes.

Todd Miller

How corny would it be to call it Sting's Honey? ... You'd be leaving yourself open to a lot of jokes.

Trudie Styler

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.

Dan Hicks

A joke's a very serious thing.

Charles Churchill

I've heard all the jokes.

Bryan Robinson

He jokes around -- when he looks up, he sees The Big Head. When he sees The Big Head, he reads where I'm going.

Taylor Twellman

They had some jokes. They think they're funny. I got them back.

Mike Imoh

I don't often get a chance to help out someone by telling jokes, so when an opportunity comes up, it's a good thing for everybody. You realize how fortunate you are when you hear something like this.

Peter Berman

He that jokes confesses.

Italian Proverb

Don't laugh at fat jokes.

Jessica Weiner

When we're on our 13th or 14th hour, we're dragging, but he's always ready. He's always cracking jokes. He wants to make sure everyone has a good time.

Rob Brown

We had about 40,000 jokes sent in by people all over the world. Here is my favourite.

Richard Wiseman

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father.

Mary Todd Lincoln

You're Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You're doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first targets.

Carlos Mencia