'Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.


The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work. To begin with they had to kill him.

Jimmy Breslin

If you don't go to other men funerals they won't go to yours.

Clarence Day

Funeral by funeral, theory advances.

Paul A. Samuelson

On Christmas Eve, we had 22 funerals. On Christmas Day, there were 19. Everybody I know took down their tree and forgot Christmas.

Jack Mcreynolds

Most of us left there in the '50s. People only met at funerals. We decided to do something more positive.

Verdell W. Robinson

All I can tell ya is that Bobby is around pretty much and I'm still alive so far. There will be a few more funerals. That's all I can say.

Steve Schirripa

We've used it for everything from funerals to potlucks. We might as well use it for Pete.

Candy Kalal

You get close to some of them, you get wedding invitations and, sadly, sometimes you go to funerals. They're part of your extended family.

Carmen Horton

Go to other people's funerals or they won't come to yours.

Yogi Berra