Tommy Cooper
FameRank: 6

"Thomas Frederick "Tommy" Cooper" was a British prop comedian and magic (illusion)/magician.

Cooper was a member of the Magic Circle, and respected by traditional magicians. He was famed for his red fez, and his appearance was large and lumbering, at and more than in weight.

On 15 April 1984 Cooper collapsed and died soon afterwards from a heart attack in front of millions of television viewers, midway through his act on the London Weekend Television variety show Live From Her Majesty's, transmitted live from Her Majesty's Theatre.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Tommy Cooper on Wikipedia.

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

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So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

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Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

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So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "break my arms."

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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

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It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

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