Tom Lehrer
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"Thomas Andrew (Tom) Lehrer" (; born April 9, 1928) is an American singer-songwriter, satire/satirist, pianist, and mathematician. He has lectured on mathematics and musical theater. He is best known for the pithy, humorous songs he recorded in the 1950s and '60s.

His work often parodies popular song forms, though he usually creates original melodies when doing so. A notable exception is "The Elements (song)/The Elements", where he sets the names of the chemical elements to the tune of the "Major-General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. Lehrer's early work typically dealt with non-topical subject matter and was noted for its black humor in songs such as "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park". In the 1960s, he produced a number of songs dealing with social and political issues of the day, particularly when he wrote for the U.S. version of the television show That Was the Week That Was. Despite their of-the-moment subject matter and references, the popularity of these songs has endured; Lehrer quoted a friend's explanation: "Always predict the worst and you'll be hailed as a prophet."

In the early 1970s, he mostly retired from public performances to devote his time to teaching mathematics and music theatre at the University of California, Santa Cruz.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous musicians! More Tom Lehrer on Wikipedia.

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.

"Brush your teeth with the best toothpaste,Then rinse your mouth with industrial waste".

If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared not only to retract it, but also to deny under oath that I ever said it.

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

There used to be certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now, you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.'