Ask that question for real, not just rhetorically. Why does he want to get married at home? Maybe having friends at the party is more important to him than having family. That's a reasonable want. Perhaps you can scale things down and have a wedding at your family's home and a party in New Jersey.
To be sure it's time, share some little bits of information, such as 'my previous relationship ended very badly' and see how your new partner responds. If he or she is sympathetic, share a few more details.
You're not thinking clearly. By all means, go out with friends, take classes, try new things, begin to build a new life. But don't find another relationship while on the rebound and grieving. It usually creates disaster.
Friends are safe. You won't make huge mistakes if you spend time with friends, because they'll be there to steer you to safer harbors.
He's right. If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that's a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what's the point? Keep your future in mind.
Even if your spouse cheated on you, own up to any lack of connection on your part that may have contributed to his or her making such a bad move. What you want to convey is not that you were the poor victim of a bad mate but that you learned from your experience.
Getting out of marriage won't automatically make anything better. Your happiness is your own responsibility.