I don't know what the hell they put in it, but they've given us purple and green pee. I mean, it's ridiculous. People will add anything, they'll try vinegar. They'll add anything under the sun.

It was my job to make sure that these people were confirming positive. At that point, I'm basically saying this person is losing their job, or not getting hired, or just failed their parole, and so on and so forth.

It's not going to do anything. You're still going to fail.

It's a little suspicious, but chances are they can't fire you unless you really test positive.

We had a special test to see if there were any surfactants (such as dish detergent) in a sample.

If you can just tape some kind of test tube with a friend's urine in it to your thigh so it's about as warm as your natural body temp, then you're going to pass.

We knew damn right they were positive, but we couldn't get it within the right limits to actually legally confirm it.