Scott Adams
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"Scott Raymond Adams" is an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation.

His Dilbert series came to national prominence through the downsizing period in 1990s America and was then distributed worldwide. A former worker in various roles at big businesses, he became a full-time cartoonist in 1995. Adams writes in a satire/satirical, often sarcasm/sarcastic way about the social and mental landscape of white-collar workers in modern corporations and other large enterprises.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous cartoonists! More Scott Adams on Wikipedia.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Frankly, I'm suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot.

Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with low SAT scores. The only differences among us is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

If you ever have trouble sounding condescending, ask a UNIX user to show you how it's done.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Dogbert: 'Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemon, make lemonade.' Dilbert: 'But i'm allergic to citrus.' Dogbert: 'Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, swell up and die.'

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as 'a complete waste of time.'

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be 'that stabbin' Dilbert guy.'

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.

One "oh shit" can erase a thousand attaboys.

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

You haven't achieved equality until you're a legitimate target for humor.

Dance like it hurts, Love like you need money, Work when people are watching.

'Wrong' is one of those concepts that depends on witnesses.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he'd rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don't seem so bad lately.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

Men want sex. If men ruled the world, they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Gas stations would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a checking account.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.