"Ronnie Shakes" was a stand up comedian who made seven appearances on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson from 1984 to 1987. Shakes died at age 40 of a heart attack while jogging.

More Ronnie Shakes on Wikipedia.

I like life. It's something to do.

227

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'

199

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

156

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.

138