"Robert Orben" is best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R. Ford and as a Magic (illusion)/magician. He has written multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and he has also written books for magicians.

Robert Orben published his first gag book at the age of 18 in 1946, when he was working in Stuart Robson Jr.'s (stage manager for Florenz Ziegfeld) conjuror's shop in New York. Professional magicians would use his gags to add humor to their acts; comedians also came into magic stores, for props and books, as there were no comedy stores or resources as such at that time.

When Robert Orben wrote his first gag book, Encyclopedia of Patter, it proved very popular, and he started publishing more books of gags, complete with sketches, ad libs, bits of business and routines. Titles included Patter Parade, Laugh Package, Sight Bits, and Screamline Comedy.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous entertainers! More Robert Orben on Wikipedia.

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

A compliment is verbal sunshine.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.