Peter De Vries
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"Peter De Vries" was an United States/American editing/editor and novelist known for his satiric wit. He has been described by the philosopher Daniel Dennett as "probably the funniest writer on religion ever".

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I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask, "What's in it for me?"

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

We turned on one another deep, drowned gazes, and exchanged a kiss that reduced my bones to rubber and my brain to gruel.

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.