To be a humorist, one must see the world out of focus.
"Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse", Order of the British Empire/KBE was an English humourist whose body of work includes novels, short stories, plays, humorous verses, poems, song lyrics, and magazine articles. He enjoyed enormous popular success during a career that lasted more than seventy years, and his many writings continue to be widely read. A quintessential Englishman, born during the Victorian era and living his early youth in Edwardian London, he also resided in France and the United States for extended periods during his long life. His writing reflects this rich background, with stories set in England, France, and the United States, particularly, New York City and Hollywood.
An acknowledged master of English prose, Wodehouse has been admired both by contemporaries such as Hilaire Belloc, Evelyn Waugh and Rudyard Kipling and by recent writers such as Christopher Hitchens, Stephen Fry, Douglas Adams, J. K. Rowling, and John Le Carré.If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous writers! More P. G. Wodehouse on Wikipedia.
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
'Alf Todd,' said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, 'has about as much chance as a one- armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle.'
Flowers are happy things.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."