Milton Berle
FameRank: 8

"Milton Berle" was an American comedian and actor. As the host of NBC's Texaco Star Theater (1948–55), he was the first major American television star and was known to millions of viewers as "Uncle Miltie" and "Mr. Television" during Golden Age of Television/TV's golden age.

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A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.