Josh Billings
FameRank: 6

"Josh Billings" was the pen name of 19th-century American humorist "Henry Wheeler Shaw". Although his reputation has not endured so well with later generations, in the latter half of the 19th century he was a famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States, perhaps second only to Mark Twain.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Josh Billings on Wikipedia.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

Those who enter heaven may find the outer walls plastered with creeds, but they won't find any on the inside.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as they ought to be done.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The trouble with most folks isn't so much their ignorance. It's know'n so many things that ain't so.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

It may be risky to marry for love, but it's so honest that the Lord just has to smile on it.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves, but who think others are.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

You can buy a pretty good dog with a lot of money, but you can't buy the wag of its tail.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.