Jonathan Swift
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"Jonathan Swift" was an Anglo-Irish satire/satirist, essayist, political pamphleteer (first for the Whig (British political party)/Whigs, then for the Tories (British political party)#1678–1760/Tories), poet and cleric who became Dean (Christianity)/Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin.

He is remembered for works such as Gulliver's Travels, A Modest Proposal, A Journal to Stella, Drapier's Letters, The Battle of the Books, An Argument Against Abolishing Christianity, and A Tale of a Tub. Swift is regarded by the Encyclopædia Britannica as the foremost prose satirist in the English language, and is less well known for his poetry. Swift originally published all of his works under pseudonyms – such as Lemuel Gulliver, Isaac Bickerstaff, Drapier's Letters/MB Drapier – or anonymously. He is also known for being a master of two styles of satire: the Satire#Classifications of satire/Horatian and Juvenalian styles.

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May you live all the days of your life.

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping.

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

We have enough religion to hate each other, but not enough to love each other.

Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love, one another.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.

Books, the children of the brain.

Every dog must have his day.

There is nothing in this world constant, but inconsistancy.

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

I row after health like a waterman...

It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind.

When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.