Jimmy Durante
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"James Francis "Jimmy" Durante" was an Italian American singer, pianist, comedian, and actor. His distinctive clipped gravelly speech, New York accent, comic language butchery, jazz-influenced songs, and prominent nose helped make him one of America's most familiar and popular personalities of the 1920s through the 1970s. He often referred to his nose as the Schnozzola (from the Yiddish schnoz [nose] ), and the word became his nickname.

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I hate music, especially when it's played.

Good night, Mrs Calabash, wherever you are!

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Be a awful nice to 'em goin' up, because you're gonna meet 'em all comin' down.

Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

When I got through with him, he was all covered wit' blood, my blood.

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

All of us have schnozzles . . . if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.