"Jay London" is an United States/American stand-up comic, whose one-liner jokes made him a favorite on NBC's Last Comic Standing. Although he did not win either of the two seasons in which he appeared (Seasons 2 and 3, both in 2004), his humble personality and clean comedy made him a favorite among the show's fans.

London was born in The Bronx, but grew up in Flushing, Queens, New York/Flushing, Queens, before moving to Los Angeles in his adult years. He was a Boxing/boxer and a taxicab driver, among other occupations, before becoming a stand-up comic in the 1980s.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Jay London on Wikipedia.

You know what burns me? Matches.

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I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."

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I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

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I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

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I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds, 14 people showed up, it was overcast.

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I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.

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It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

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My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

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I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

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