Jay Leno
FameRank: 8

"Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series"1995 The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

"Outstanding Special Class – Short-Format Nonfiction Program"2011 Jay Leno's Garage

}}

}}

"James Douglas Muir "Jay" Leno" is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, voice actor and television host. Leno was the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992 to 2009. Beginning in September 2009, Leno started a primetime talk show, titled The Jay Leno Show, which aired weeknights at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time/ET, also on NBC. After The Jay Leno Show was canceled in January 2010 amid a 2010 Tonight Show conflict/host controversy, Leno returned to host The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on March 1, 2010. Leno hosted his last episode of The Tonight Show on February 6, 2014. That same year, he was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Jay Leno on Wikipedia.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?

According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works out 60 to 90 minutes a day with weights. Apparently he likes working out because it 'clears his mind.' Sometimes it works a little too well.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells 'OIL.'".

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good…Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.