Jackie Mason
FameRank: 6

"Hyman Krustofski" in The Simpsons episodes "Like Father, Like Clown", "Today I Am A Clown", "Once Upon a Time in Springfield", "Treehouse of Horror XXII", "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution", "At Long Last Leave", and "Clown in the Dumps"

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"Jackie Mason" is an United States/American stand-up comedy/stand-up comedian and film and television actor.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Jackie Mason on Wikipedia.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

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It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

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We were going to do it before the hurricane, but decided to wait.

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It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

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By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?

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Frankly, I'm in shock. I just can't believe it...even though I had every reason to expect it.

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The nervousness never lasted more than a second because he was so congenial and comfortable. He made more stars on his show, probably, than anybody in the whole history of show business.

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Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant -- even if they wanted to be one?

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[After taking a critical hit in his first non-solo musical venture on Broadway with the short-lived Laughing Room Only, Mason noted the return to his roots.] I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, ... I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me... one Jew talking and that's it.

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