How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
"Emo Philips" is an United States/American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians and garden path sentences spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant.
If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Emo Philips on Wikipedia.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
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