When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
"Elayne Boosler" is an American comedian and advocate for animal rescue.
Boosler was born into a Jewish family and raised in Brooklyn. She was the youngest child and only daughter of her father, a Russian acrobat, and her mother, a Romanian ballerina. She attended public schools in Brooklyn, including Shellbank Junior High School and Sheepshead Bay High School.
Boosler is married to Bill Siddons, music industry executive and former manager of The Doors.
If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Elayne Boosler on Wikipedia.I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
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