Dorothy Parker
FameRank: 6

"Dorothy Parker" was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satire/satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th-century urban foibles.

From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist.

Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker". Nevertheless, her literary output and reputation for her sharp wit have endured.

More Dorothy Parker on Wikipedia.

I really can't come to your party Mrs. Parker, I can't bear fools.' That's strange; your mother could.

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.

'Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Lips that taste of tears, they say/ Are the best for kissing.

If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of their tires.

They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania.

His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets.

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

Trapped, like a trap in a trap.

You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say 'No' in any of them.

Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.

I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host.

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

'Coolidge is dead' 'How could they tell?

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.

The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air with curly smoke from all my burning bridges.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Famous actress bragging about her husband: Look at him, isn't he beautiful I have kept him for seven years now' Dorothy Parker: Don't Worry--he'll come back in style'.

Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be surprised.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

I like to have a martini, two at the very most - at three i'm under the table, at four, i'm under the host!

The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''.

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.