Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him!
"Dave Attell" is an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York and now lives in New York City.If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Dave Attell on Wikipedia.
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.