I just realised I'm the adult and I have to be strong. I didn't want to plod along in a numb state, I needed to be totally aware of what's going on, otherwise it wouldn't be fair.

I didn't want the baby to be injured if Connor kicked or punched me in the stomach, but I also didn't want to have to tell him off for something that wasn't his fault. It was the effect of the medicine he was taking.

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