Billy Connolly
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"William "Billy" Connolly", is a Scottish people/Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname "The Big Yin" ("The Big One"). His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder (specifically a boilermaker) in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer in The Humblebums and subsequently as a soloist. In the early 1970s, he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully-fledged comedian.

Connolly is also an actor and has appeared in such films as Water (1985 film)/Water (1985); Indecent Proposal (1993); Muppet Treasure Island (1996); Mrs. Brown (film)/Mrs. Brown (1997); The Boondock Saints (1999); The Man Who Sued God (2001); The Last Samurai (2003); Timeline (film)/Timeline (2003); Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004); Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006); Open Season (2006 film)/Open Season (2006); The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008); and Open Season 2 (2008). Connolly reprised his role as Noah "Il Duce" MacManus in The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day.

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Billy Connolly on Wikipedia.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?

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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.

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Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..

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I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?

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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

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