Better to go than sit around being a terrible old bore.

Looking back at all the people I have insulted, I am mildly surprised that I am still allowed to exist.

Anyone wishing to communicate with Americans should do so by e-mail, which has been specially invented for the purpose, involving neither physical proximity nor speech.

It is my settled opinion, after some years as a political correspondent, that no one is attracted to a political career in the first place unless he is socially or emotionally crippled.

We journalists like to think we are the new crusaders-it's much more gratifying than the image of the journalist pigs evoked by Spitting Image puppets.