I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
"Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooney" was an American radio and television writer. He was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92.If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous journalists! More Andy Rooney on Wikipedia.
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 290,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts an.