Alexander Woollcott
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"Alexander Humphreys Woollcott" was an American critic and commentator for The New Yorker magazine and a member of the Algonquin Round Table.

He was the inspiration for Sheridan Whiteside, the main character in the play The Man Who Came to Dinner (1939) by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart, and for the far less likable character Waldo Lydecker in the film Laura (1944 film)/Laura (1944). He was convinced he was the inspiration for Rex Stout's brilliant detective Nero Wolfe, but Stout, although he was friendly to Woollcott, said there was nothing to that idea.

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There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

Nothing risque, nothing gained.

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

His huff arrived and he departed in it.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it.

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

At 83 Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.