Tim Allen
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"Timothy Alan Dick" known professionally as "Tim Allen", is an American actor and comedian. He is known for his role in the sitcom Home Improvement (TV series)/Home Improvement. He is also known for his starring roles in several popular films, including the Toy Story (franchise)/Toy Story film series (as the voice of Buzz Lightyear), The Santa Clause (film series)/The Santa Clause film series, and the science fiction action comedy film Galaxy Quest (1999). Since 2011, he has starred as Mike Baxter in the American Broadcasting Company/ABC sitcom Last Man Standing (U.S. TV series)/Last Man Standing.

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Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, ... Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.