Ogden Nash
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"Frederic Ogden Nash" was an United States/American poet well known for his Light poetry/light verse. At the time of his death in 1971, The New York Times said his "droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country's best-known producer of humorous poetry". Nash wrote over 500 pieces of comic verse. The best of his work was published in 14 volumes between 1931 and 1972.

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If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Sometimes with secret pride I sigh, To think how tolerant am I; Then wonder which is really mine: Tolerance, or a rubber spine?

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, And that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -Did you ever try buying them without money?

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker.

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.

When there are monsters there are miracles.

The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!

Nietsche is Pietsche.'