Lily Tomlin
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"Mary Jean" ""Lily"" "Tomlin" is an American actress, comedian, writer, and Theatrical producer/producer. She has been a major force in American comedy since the late 1960s, when she began a career as a stand-up comedy/stand-up comedian and became a featured performer on television's Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In.

Tomlin's career has spanned television, comedy recordings, Broadway, and motion pictures. She has starred in such films as Nashville (film)/Nashville, 9 to 5 (film)/9 to 5, All of Me (1984 film)/All of Me, The Beverly Hillbillies (film)/The Beverly Hillbillies, Orange County (film)/Orange County, and I Heart Huckabees. Her notable television roles include Laugh-In as a cast member from 1970–73, Ms. Frizzle on The Magic School Bus (TV series)/The Magic School Bus, Kay Carter-Shepley on Murphy Brown, Deborah Fiderer on The West Wing, and Lillie Mae MacKenzie on Malibu Country.

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I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then-we elected them.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

We're all in this alone.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch.

Thank God kids never mean well.

Why is it when we talk to God we're praying - but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.