The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Church: A place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to people who will never get there.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop.