Franklin Pierce Adams
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"Franklin Pierce Adams" was an American columnist, well known by his initials "F.P.A.", and wit, best known for his newspaper column, "The Conning Tower", and his appearances as a regular panelist on radio's Information Please. A prolific writer of light verse, he was a member of the Algonquin Round Table of the 1920s and 1930s.

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Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

In a body [like Congress] where there are more than one hundred talking lawyers, you can make no calculation upon the termination of any debate.

While the work or play is on, it is a lot of fun if while you are doing one you don't constantly feel that you ought to be doing the other.

Since I am used to speaking in public, I know that it is useless.

Christmas is over and Business is Business.