Eddie Izzard
FameRank: 6

"Primetime Emmy Award for Individual Performance In A Variety Or Music Program/Individual Performance in a Variety Or Music Program"

2000 Dress to Kill

"Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program/Writing in a Variety, Music Or Comedy Program"

2000 Dress to Kill

/ britishcomedyawards = "British Comedy Awards/Top Stand-up"

1993 Live at the Ambassadors

"British Comedy Awards/Best Stand-up"

1996 Definite Article}}

}}

"Edward John "Eddie" Izzard" is an English stand-up comedy/stand-up comedian, actor and writer. His comedy style takes the form of rambling, whimsical monologue and self-referential pantomime. He had a starring role in the television series The Riches as Wayne Malloy and has appeared in many films such as Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen, Mystery Men, Shadow of the Vampire, The Cat's Meow, Across the Universe (film)/Across the Universe, and Valkyrie (film)/Valkyrie. He has also worked as a Voice Acting/voice actor, appearing in The Wild (2006), Igor (film)/Igor (2008), The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008), and Cars 2 (2011).

If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out other famous comedians! More Eddie Izzard on Wikipedia.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

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The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!"

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But with dogs, we do have 'bad dog.' Bad dog exists. 'Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!' The dog is saying, 'Who are you to judge me? You human beings who've had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!''Well, if you put it that way, I think you've got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.

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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

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I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,' but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that….

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