If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think that she's attractive to the opposite sex.
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don't.
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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