Benny Hill
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"Alfred Hawthorne Hill", known by his stage name "Benny Hill"p>"Alfred Hawthorne Hill", known by his stage name "Benny Hill" (21 January 1924

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Roses are reddish/ Violets are bluish/ If it weren't for Christmas/ We'd all be Jewish.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Do unto others, then run.

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.

I have a wild bunch of coconuts!